I haven’t done one of these posts since last April and it’s long overdue. I don’t know if I’ve talked about “ghosting” on here before, but it’s an aspect of dating that I really dislike. I was always taught to be honest with the people I’m dating, even if that means inviting them over to my place to break up shortly before Valentines Day or even doing it via a phone call. I’d much rather prefer someone tell me that they’re no longer interested in me than to just up and disappear; is that too much to ask for? Well apparently in today’s times it is.
I’ve heard so many of my friends and acquaintances tell me that they’ve been ghosted by a suitor and have even done that to a suitor themselves. In fact, I’ve had women tell that they prefer to be ghosted instead of their suitor telling them they’re no longer interested in seeing them. And then there have been women who have told me that they have no problem ghosting someone, but don’t want that done to them. All of this confuses me. What happened to the golden rule? I wouldn’t dare do something to someone that I wouldn’t want done to me.
I came across an article recently with 15 texts that you can send someone instead of ghosting them that I thought were pretty good and wanted to share a few with y’all:
“Hey, I think you’re great, but I don’t really see this progressing in the future.”
“I had a great time with you, but honestly don’t think I am feeling this between us and don’t have interest in going out again.”
“Honestly, the connection isn’t really there for me. I think we’d both be better if we dated other people. Best of luck.”
“If I can be honest, I met someone else recently. I think you’re awesome and attractive, but I am going to spend my time focusing on other things right now.”
Now I’ve heard about people continuously trying to reach out after you’ve told them you wanted to end things, which then leads to blocking. That’s not ghosting. Ghosting is when you just stop responding and don’t give them a reason. In fact, if you’re a ‘Sex in the City’ fan Berger did this. He ghosted Carrie and then “Bergered” her. You know, he led her on for one more fun night before leaving her a break-up sticky that read “I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.” A sticky note! Well the equivalent of that now is a text message. I had a guy do that to me recently, and while it upset and confused me at first I eventually came around to understanding and thanking him for letting me know. We were in the middle of making plans to go out that evening for drinks and he hit me with a text that said “I can’t do this”. In confusion, I immediately responded “Drinks or us?” He went on to explain that we were at two different points in our lives and he didn’t want to lead me on any further. Plain, simple and to the point. It was the closure that the both of us needed, but according to a few ladies in my life it was terrible. I didn’t think so, I appreciated his honesty and the fact that he was able to do it before things got too serious between us.
So what say y’all? Do you prefer the ghosting method? And if so, does this go both ways? You ghost them and they ghost you? Or do you prefer someone say something and end things? I’m sure that some answers may vary, especially with the seriousness of relationships, but I even make it a point to at least send my Tinder guys a message telling them I’m no longer interested. What about y’all?