Okay, I know I said I wasn’t going to make this a weekly thing but I really wanted to share this with y’all.
I was at work last week when Millican sent me this article last week and I couldn’t help but nod my head at every point the author made. I have an Alpha type personality and apparently I’ve been looking for the wrong type of mate.
In a society where it’s seen as okay to trash talk women in the media this article was a breath of fresh air. I’m sharing it as a guideline for strong-willed women like me; and also in hope that guys realize that their “b*tches be like” or “basic girls be like” BS won’t fly and that if they want to attract a woman as driven as they are, this is how they need to act.
18 Qualities Every Alpha Woman
Should Look For in a Boyfriend Mate
1. He’s someone who can tease you and can also be teased.
This is important! I have my “duh” moments every now and then and have no problem with someone poking fun at me, but know that I will do the same if you have those same moments. I’m not doing it with any ill-intent, just jokes and I want someone how can take those jokes just as well.
2. He challenges you.
I’m always looking to learn and grow and I want a mate that will do just that. I want someone that pushes me to be the best me I can be.
3. He doesn’t get jealous.
Now this is one I kind of agree with. I feel like a little bit of jealousy doesn’t hurt a relationship. I do need someone who knows that I am and will be faithful to them and only them, but still get that spark of possessiveness and a bit of jealousy when they see another guy eyeing me in a suggestive nature. I know that he’ll only act on it if need be, but just knowing that not only am I pleasing on the eye to him but I’m easy on the eye to other people is something that makes me smile.
4. He isn’t waiting on you, he has his own plans.
I think this goes both ways. I would be coming into the relationship with my own friends, hobbies and likes and I’d expect my mate to do the same thing. I need him not to be alarmed if I have once a week get-togethers with the girls and I wouldn’t be shocked if he did the same with his guys. We’d need to have a life outside of the relationship.
5. He doesn’t air your dirty laundry.
I think that goes for any relationship, not just a romantic one.
6. He knows how to deal with your bad moods.
They don’t happen often, but when they do they’re pretty bad. I should be comfortable enough with my mate to tell him I had a bad day at work or vent about things without him saying that I’m “just being a girl”. It’s also nice when guys know that I just need a shoulder massage or a foot rub and a glass of wine.
7. When he apologizes, he means it.
Does this one really need an explanation?
8. He’s moving at the same speed you are.
Another one that doesn’t really need explanation. Whether it be life goals or work related (even if we’re not in the same field) we need to be on the same page as a whole and one party isn’t pushing the other.
9. He doesn’t belittle you, but he doesn’t put you on a pedestal either.
This is a big one. I want someone who sees me as an equal.
10. He is someone who teaches, but never lectures.
I think this ties into #2. Yes, challenge and teach me things, but don’t chastise me for not knowing them.
11. He makes you laugh.
Plain and simple.
12. He’ll call you out when you need to be called out.
Respectfully of course. My friends do it and I would expect nothing less of my mate.
13. He wants to be the wind beneath your wings.
Support. It’s all about supporting your mate. I want someone who supports me as much as I will them.
14. He isn’t the life of the party, but he’s always there if you need to be carried home.
I don’t party like that anymore, and I don’t even need him to be there every time I’m out, but it’s nice to know that my mate would be there when I need him.
15. His opinions aren’t irrational, they’re backed up.
Another one that doesn’t need explanation.
16. He knows when to drop it and when to address it.
As the old saying goes: Pick your battles. Also, know when and where to have certain discussions.
17. He has a dream as big as yours.
Aspirations are a must. Being content and being stagnant are two different things.
18. He’s a great listener, but also expects to be heard.
Communication is a must in any relationship, and it’s a two-way street.
Gigi wrote a great article, and my little bullet points only scratch the surface. Head on over and check out her full article here.
