This is one of the hardest posts I’ve ever had to write. I seriously battled internally on whether I should even post about it, but I said that I would keep things honest and open on here so here goes.
Chuck and I broke up on Friday night.
It sucks. I cried that night, like red eyes and snotty nose cried but I don’t think it settled until last night. I couldn’t really mope and be in my feelings like I wanted to on Saturday because I had to get my hair done, I had to put on a brave face for my girls on Sunday because who wants to go to brunch with someone who’s mopey? And skipping brunch wasn’t even an option. Then Monday came the start of the work week and I had to keep it professional.
He came over and I thought that we would be able to work things out last night, but I was wrong. I won’t say that I had no fault in our ending, hell I was the one who made the stupidest mistake in saying that Friday night, especially when I didn’t mean it, but I didn’t think that he’d agree. It hurts like hell, and I know that it’ll hurt for awhile but I know that this is a learning and growing experience for me.
Chuck changed me in the year and a half we were together and he changed me for the better. He opened my eyes to a lot of things I was stubborn about before and forced me to not be so damn hardheaded at times. He balanced me and I believe I did the same for him. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but when it worked it worked.
I’m the type of girl who totally cleanses herself from her exes. As in they don’t exist to me. I don’t know if I want to do that for him though. It’s all still new to me and I’m still trying to deal with it. I’m blessed to have the support system that I have in my family and friends. Between tweets, text messages, emails and even Kiks from across the pond my phone has been flooded with messages of encouragement and love. I love all of you for that.
As with most things in my life, I think music is going to play a huge part in helping me deal with this break-up. It’s always been my outlet and I believe it has the power to change whatever mood you’re in. Hopefully this playlist helps.
