Love is a Battlefield? Eh…

I’m currently listening to Jordin Sparks’ sophomore album and that song stuck out.  I hope the title of this post isn’t too corny. Lol!

Anywho! I’ve been debating on whether I wanted to do a post about my experience with online dating.  I didn’t want my post to sound like every other blog post out there about online dating, but I wanted y’all to hear some of the funny and crazy things that were sent to me and that I experienced.  It was actually Sar’s post and the encouraging tweets I got that nudged me to do it.

For those of you who don’t know, I met my boyfriend online.  On OkCupid to be exact.  I’ll pause for the gasps that come out of some mouths.  Yes, I actually did the whole dating online thing; and I actually met a great guy!

I was kind of skeptical of online dating at first.  I knew that I didn’t want to join one of the paid ones like eHarmony just in case I couldn’t find a match that first month, and because of their million mile long questionarre.

  I just couldn’t justify spending that money every month for the same duds I could meet for free with OkCupid.  This is where the old adage “You get what you paid for” comes in though.  Most of the guys I met on OKC were duds.  

I knew that I was in a bit over my head when I started getting marriage proposals in the first messages.  I immediately blocked those guys, and the ones who sent me messages like:

 “Hey how u doing”

“Hey sexxii”

“Yhu got sum nice lips”

“Hey you seem unique and pretty cute. I like your cheeks…lol.”

Uh….no!  And those were usually the guys who wanted to meet up immediately.  RED FLAG!!!

One thing I learned when I started to try out online dating was have a set of roadblocks or checkpoints set up.  Never give a guy your number or email address in the initial message, etc.  Here are mine:

1. Wait at least 2 messages before giving out your email address, that’s if you want to give your personal one.

2. If you don’t have a Google Voice number, get one.  That’s the phone number you give to them; that way you can block any crazies!  I actually use my GV number for other reasons too.  It’s honestly just a great thing to have, and it’s free!

3. Skype before you go out on your actual date!!  I can’t stress this enough.  You want to make sure that the person you’re talking to is actually the person in the pictures on their profile and that you have face-to-face chemistry with them.

 I’ve had chemistry with a few guys online via messages, but when it came down to face-to-face interaction nothing was there.  Skyping before actually going out on a date will help you figure out if their personality transfers offline.  I’d suggest getting yourself ready like you would a date, from the waist up.  I can’t tell you how many Skype dates I’ve had in cute tops, make-up and my hair up while wearing sweats.  It’s not like the guys know!  Lol!

4. Have your first date be somewhere public.  I’d recommend Starbucks or a coffee house.  That way the date can be as long or as short as you want it to be.  If you’re not really feeling the other person you can finish your drink (that you paid for yourself) and bid them adieu.  But if you really like them and things are going well you can get a refill (a free one if you have a Starbucks card) and keep trucking right along with the guy.

Like I said earlier, I met quite a few duds, and I was shot down a few times too.  I’m the type of girl who goes after what she wants in life, and it was no different on OKC.  I wasn’t afraid to message a guy first, and I actually got a few dates out of it! 

My boyfriend messaged me first though.  I was actually getting ready to get off the site because I was tired of the scene.  I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Chuck’s first message to me.  He didn’t go the standard “You’re cute, give me your number” route, instead he lead with this:

“You never learned how to ride a bike!? Wow. That can only mean your legs have absolutely no bruises.”

I laughed out loud.

Like for real laughed out loud.  

It took us all of six messages before we exchanged numbers and email addresses, and I didn’t do a Skype date with him because he didn’t have Skype at the time.  Our first date was actually supposed to be a this little cafe he knew about off of Westheimer, but we ended up going to Kat’z.  I could’ve stayed out all night with him.  He kept me laughing and I really enjoyed his company.  I think we actually spoke online and texted for like three weeks before we actually went out on our first date, and we still hadn’t run out of anything to talk about.  That was also the night we heard our “song”.

I hate to sound cliche, but I knew on that first date that I wanted to be with him. It took us another few weeks before we became exclusive and put a title on things, and I haven’t looked back since.  I actually deactivated my account and had to reactivate it to pull some of these messages off of OKC.  It’s been a hilarious trip down memory lane though.  

Have any of y’all done the online dating thing?  Have any success stories?